My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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