That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
