Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
