i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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