I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
