Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
