If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
