Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like a drive thru vagina
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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