That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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