what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
