I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
