I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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