i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I haven't been this sober since birth.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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