Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
