maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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