i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
