I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
