I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
