I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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