READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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