I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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