last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
