So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
