so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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