She is in my trunk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
