some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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