i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
