so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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