what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
