found the other keg... it's in the tree
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
