He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
