she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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