HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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