I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
