doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
