I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
