This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
