People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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