I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
