Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
