Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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