it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
