yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You can't special order awesome
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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