Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
