i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
