margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
