You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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