If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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