I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
