may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
