sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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